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Saturday, 27 September 2003
if you need a laugh ...
Saturday, 27 September 2003 11:40My sister emailed me this lot the other day, as a result I really got the giggles in the office.
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet that conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
********************************************************
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet that conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
********************************************************
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
(no subject)
Saturday, 27 September 2003 11:55When I posted a few minutes ago I knew there was something I'd forgotten. Reading through The Daily Mail's Weekend magazine today on Monday's satellite TV page Stargate SG-1 is one of their recommended shows to watch, accompanied by a photo of AT.
"Back for a new series comes one of the most popular sci-fi dramas in American TV history. A dazed Daniel Jackson appears in a flash of light on a strange planet - flash being the operative word, as he is completely naked when found. That's the start of an adventure that sees Carter (Amanda Tapping, pictured) and the rest of SG-1 team set out to stop galactic baddie Anubis dead in his tracks. The show also sees developments in the main story arc for this season, the search for the lost city of Atlantis."
In the actually listing they put: "Michael Shanks returns as Dr Daniel Jackson and helps the team trap the Goa'uld System Lord Anubis - will they be successful? Amanda Tapping also stars."
Absolutely no mention of RDA!
"Back for a new series comes one of the most popular sci-fi dramas in American TV history. A dazed Daniel Jackson appears in a flash of light on a strange planet - flash being the operative word, as he is completely naked when found. That's the start of an adventure that sees Carter (Amanda Tapping, pictured) and the rest of SG-1 team set out to stop galactic baddie Anubis dead in his tracks. The show also sees developments in the main story arc for this season, the search for the lost city of Atlantis."
In the actually listing they put: "Michael Shanks returns as Dr Daniel Jackson and helps the team trap the Goa'uld System Lord Anubis - will they be successful? Amanda Tapping also stars."
Absolutely no mention of RDA!