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Writer's Block: School Daze
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Most of my years of secondary school were pretty miserable. Being something of a loner without any close friends I got picked on and bullied left, right and centre and left school at 16, as soon as I'd taken my exams.
In one year I was stabbed by a classmate, hit by a teacher and wanted to die of embarrasment when another classmate decided he wanted me as his girlfriend - all of this almost at the same time and only 12 years old was totally overwhelming. The one who stabbed me phoned me at work about 8 years ago to apologize, I'd spent 20 years forgetting her name and it all came vivdly back the best part of 25 years after it happened. The teacher problem was part my fault for being so quiet in class and not speaking in the French class, part his horrid temper - we both got in trouble with the head of the year for our coming together. He never taught me again and was horrified to find he was teaching my sister a different subject a few years later. He was well know as a nasty bit of work and is now in prison for interferring with boys he taught gymnastics to many years ago.
The third person I've no idea where he went to, he lived in a neighbouring village and moved away from the area a year or two later, and I don't know if I ever knew the exact spelling of his name so searches online to find any trace of him have turned up nothing.
Between these people I lost what little confidence I had and that took many years to get back to a reasonable level and I still loath people touching me, even if they're being nice to me my defenses are up, under most circumstances I'll do anything to avoid physical contact. There are quiet times I wonder what it feels like be cuddled, what intimate contact feels like then I remember why I've spent my life avoiding it.
Most of my years of secondary school were pretty miserable. Being something of a loner without any close friends I got picked on and bullied left, right and centre and left school at 16, as soon as I'd taken my exams.
In one year I was stabbed by a classmate, hit by a teacher and wanted to die of embarrasment when another classmate decided he wanted me as his girlfriend - all of this almost at the same time and only 12 years old was totally overwhelming. The one who stabbed me phoned me at work about 8 years ago to apologize, I'd spent 20 years forgetting her name and it all came vivdly back the best part of 25 years after it happened. The teacher problem was part my fault for being so quiet in class and not speaking in the French class, part his horrid temper - we both got in trouble with the head of the year for our coming together. He never taught me again and was horrified to find he was teaching my sister a different subject a few years later. He was well know as a nasty bit of work and is now in prison for interferring with boys he taught gymnastics to many years ago.
The third person I've no idea where he went to, he lived in a neighbouring village and moved away from the area a year or two later, and I don't know if I ever knew the exact spelling of his name so searches online to find any trace of him have turned up nothing.
Between these people I lost what little confidence I had and that took many years to get back to a reasonable level and I still loath people touching me, even if they're being nice to me my defenses are up, under most circumstances I'll do anything to avoid physical contact. There are quiet times I wonder what it feels like be cuddled, what intimate contact feels like then I remember why I've spent my life avoiding it.