sazandra

These come off an email from my sister, my favourites:

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Everyone has a photographic memory; Some just don't have film.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.